The Worst Things to Say to Someone Who’s Grieving

It can be heart-wrenching to attend a memorial and to see the deceased’s family filled with grief. There are lots of good things you can say to honor the dead, but there are also some words that should never come out of your mouth at a memorial following a Savage, MN cremation. 

Here are some things you should never utter out loud. If you’ve ever made any of these statements before, there’s nothing you can do about it now. But try to avoid them going forward. 

“At least ___ lived a long life.” 

While people who say things like that may be very well-meaning, the reality is that it’s a pretty insensitive thing to say to someone who’s grieving the loss of a loved one. It would almost be like assuming a god complex while determining who has had a long-enough time on planet earth. Whether the deceased died in relative youth, middle age or twilight years, the person’s death will deal a blow to their family and friends. So it’s best not to trivialize the pain and grief of those who feel the loss most by saying that the person lived a long life. 

“I know how you feel” 

The short answer to that statement is – “No you don’t!” The truth of the matter is that you don’t know how anyone else feels – you can only know how you feel. Even if you’ve suffered a recent loss in your own family, you still don’t know how another human being feels. What you can have is empathy and understanding. But you can almost trivialize what someone else is going through when you take the position that you know and understand their innermost pain. 

“Everything happens for a reason.” 

Yes, and the sky is blue, and water is wet. Saying something like “everything happens for a reason” when someone is dealing with grief is insensitive. You should save the philosophizing for when your favorite sports team comes up just short of winning a championship. When it comes to comforting the hurting, be a good listener if you don’t know what to say. 

“___ is in a better place now.” 

Again, this is one of those things that people sometimes say, with the best of intentions, but that should not be said to someone grieving a loss in the family. The grieving family wants the deceased to be alive and with them. So telling them that the person is somewhere else while they’re left to deal with grief and pain is insensitive. 

Yes, you’ll want to avoid saying any of these sorts of things at a memorial following a Savage, MN cremation. There are lots of good things you can say – like “I’m praying for you” or “I feel for your loss” or “Let me know how I can help.” So if you want to bring comfort to a grieving friend or colleague, do your best to avoid saying something that might come across as insensitive. At Scott County Cremation, we have the expertise and the services to help you plan a cremation service for your deceased loved one. Call (952) 402-9000 or stop by our office at 833 Marschall Rd Shakopee, MN 55379. Allow us to help you in your time of need.